The Pip
by Diane Klepper
Summary: Tom thinks about getting his rank back


The Pip  
  
  
  
  
  
By Diane Klepper  
  
  
  
(Author's Note: This story is set after "Unimatrix Zero Part II.")  
  
  
  
Tom Paris entered his dark cabin and said, "Lights fifty percent."  
  
  
  
The lights turned on and Tom walked over to the replicator. "Cup of tomato   
  
soup…. hot." Tom watched as a cup of tomato soup appeared in the replicator. He took   
  
the cup and walked over to his couch and put the cup down on his coffee table. He   
  
yawned and then picked up a padd he left on the table this morning and started reading it.   
  
He read few a few minutes while he drank his soup. The word on the padd became too   
  
bleary so he put the padd down and said. "Computer Personal log:   
  
  
  
I just left B'Elanna in sickbay about twenty minutes ago. More accurately the Doc   
  
threw me out of sickbay. He said I was exhausted and needed to rest. All I was doing was   
  
sitting with B'Elanna for the last hour and watching her sleep. He ordered me to go to   
  
sleep for the next eight hours or he would have me removed from duty for the next   
  
twenty-four hours…I almost laughed in his face. With Captain Janeway, Tuvok and   
  
B'Elanna all still in sickbay after their away mission on the Borg Cube the senior staff   
  
was already very thin. In fact, I was acting first officer until Captain Janeway returns to   
  
active duty in a few days…Boy wouldn't Dad be proud…According to Dad's schedule I   
  
should be of been at least a Lieutenant Commander by now.   
  
  
  
Both Captain Janeway and B'Elanna are scheduled to leave sickbay in another   
  
two days. The Doc said they were both responding well to the removal of the Borg   
  
implants and they should both make a complete recovery. Tuvok was responding slower   
  
to treatment but he was also expected to make a complete recovery even though he would   
  
have to spend another week in sickbay. Even though I relieved that B'Elanna will be   
  
okay its still unnerving to see her so pale in sickbay….I came so close to losing her on   
  
the Borg cube. When B'Elanna first volunteered for Janeway's crazy mission I wanted to   
  
shouted no and lock B'Elanna in my cabin until she came to her senses.   
  
  
  
When we were working on preparing the Delta Flyer for the mission I told   
  
B'Elanna I could disable the Flyer and stop this mission. B'Elanna told me I could lose   
  
the pip I just got back and I told her that it would be worth it to protect her…I meant it. I   
  
would give up my rank and anything else I had to keep her safe and with me. Hell…I'll   
  
even become a crewman and scrub the Jeffries tubes with my toothbrush if it kept   
  
B'Elanna and I together.   
  
  
  
But I have to admit something I never thought I would after my time as Ensign   
  
Paris…God I missed that extra pip…The one saving grace with my reduction in rank   
  
with that with the exception on the Doc and Seven of Nine very flew people brought up   
  
my rank during my time as an Ensign…Seven just called me Ensign because she called   
  
every one by rank…Doc on the other hand enjoyed calling me Ensign Paris way too   
  
much…I admit its fun to tease him during my Sickbay shifts but I think over the years we   
  
have become friends and it did hurt that he insisted on calling me Ensign every chance he   
  
got…but I would never tell him that…his ego is already too big.  
  
  
  
At first I thought the worst part of my punishment for the Monean incident had to   
  
of been spending thirty days in solitary confinement in the brig. I have never liked   
  
enclosed places since a childhood incident were I was accidentally locked in a supply   
  
closet for three days…I don't remember much about the incident but I do remember   
  
having nightmares for weeks after the accident…That was the real reason I kept escaping   
  
stasis when we went through the Mutara class nebula…I remember when I had to go to   
  
counseling in New Zealand the counselor mentioned that sometimes we never get over   
  
childhood traumas….of course at the time I was too angry at the world to pay much   
  
attention to what my counselor said.  
  
  
  
The thirty days in the brig were worse then my time in New Zealand. At least at   
  
the rehab colony I was only confined to my cell at night … during the day my work detail   
  
kept me outside most of the time. The only times I couldn't leave my cell during the day   
  
were the two incidents were I was sent to solitary confinement for three days for getting   
  
into fights…Of course the fact that I was defending myself from a group of Maquis   
  
didn't really matter…In the Rehab colony if you got into a fight you were automatically   
  
sentenced to three days of solitary confinement….Those three days were hell…but a   
  
kindly prison doctor gave me a sedative before I was sent there to help me get through   
  
my time.  
  
  
  
I thought I would go crazy in the brig for thirty days. It's funny the letter I wrote   
  
to my Dad helped me get through the long days…I glad Harry came to see me and   
  
convinced to finish the letter…Dad always complained that I never finished anything I   
  
started…but I'm not the same person I was back on Earth…I often wonder if we did get   
  
back to Earth would my relationship be better with my father….Would the Admiral see   
  
the man I have grown into or would he still see the mixed up kid I was …Sometimes I   
  
think I'm a completely different person then I was the last time I saw my father…I still   
  
have a smart mouth and tend to rub some people the wrong way…just ask Chakotay, he   
  
would tell you there were many times during our first two years in the Delta Quadrant   
  
that I went out of my way to get him mad. I still use humor to hide my real feelings but I   
  
guess some things you can't change.  
  
  
  
This morning when I got dressed and I put on my new pip I just stared at myself   
  
in the mirror for a few minutes. I'm thankful that B'Elanna wasn't there….I would of   
  
never heard the end of it…When I got to the bridge a few seconds late for my shift that   
  
day I thought I was really in trouble…I'm not a morning person but I do my best to be on   
  
time for my bridge shifts…Dad's lessons about a Starfleet officer always being on time   
  
must of sunk in somehow even though I often tuned out most of his lectures by the time I   
  
was a teenage…Except for the time I was playing malcontent to catch Voyager's spy I   
  
happy to say I make it to most of my shifts on time…I even make it to most of my   
  
sickbay shifts on time….but that is mostly to keep the Doc off my back…the last time I   
  
came five minutes late to sickbay the Doc made me listen to Klingon Opera all   
  
afternoon…I'm just grateful B'Elanna doesn't like Klingon Opera and that she   
  
grudgingly listens to my rock and roll tapes when she is in a good mood.  
  
  
  
When I got out of the turbolift and Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, and   
  
Tuvok all mentioned that I was late I thought I was destined to spend all my free time   
  
doing extra sickbay duties for the next two weeks. Then Chakotay told me that I will   
  
have to make up my lost time and told me to take my station…When I saw the box on my   
  
chair I knew something was up. When Chakotay told me to open the box I had to hold   
  
my breath to keep from making some sarcastic remark…I often make wisecracks when   
  
I'm nervous…I never made them just to get my Dad angry…That was just a fringe   
  
benefit. . As I opened the box and saw the pip I looked up and saw Captain Janeway   
  
smiling at me at was at a loss for words…Ever since I came on Voyager I have worked   
  
hard to earn her respect and the worst part of the Monean incident was that I let her   
  
down. Maybe I wasn't thinking logically at the time but I couldn't stand by and watch   
  
them destroy their ocean…I loved the sea too much to let that happen. I guess deep down   
  
I knew my plan wouldn't work…and I knew I would be seriously punished for   
  
disobeying orders…but I had to try.  
  
  
  
When Captain Janeway put he pip on me and said that I earned my rank back I   
  
was so happy. Then B'Elanna kissed me…I was about to get all emotional but thankfully   
  
Harry made a wisecrack about not having a little box on his chair…I guess Harry has   
  
been hanging around me too much…Harry knows that if he was still in the Alpha   
  
Quadrant he would be at least a Lieutenant by now…but I have a feeling once we do get   
  
home Harry will be on the fast track to Captaincy.  
  
  
  
I guess one of the reasons I was surprised about how much I missed my pip was   
  
that I never had an desire to go up the Starfleet ladder and become an Admiral like so   
  
many people in my family did…I always wanted to fly and being trapped behind a desk   
  
working on reports never interested me…I think one of the reasons I never cared about   
  
rank was because all my life I was surrounded my Commanders, Captains, and Admirals.   
  
I have to admit some of these officers seemed cold and calculating.   
  
  
  
When I was little my Dad and I were close. He use to read me Jules Verne stories   
  
and tell me about his adventures in space…I wanted to be just like him…But things   
  
changed as I got older… He treated me more like one of his cadets then his son.   
  
Everything I did had to prepare my for my career in Starfleet…He wanted me to spend all   
  
my free time studying…My grades were never good enough…I use to dread report card   
  
day…Every one was the same…If I received all A's and one B…I did not try hard   
  
enough and he would say 'Thomas I know you can do better…go to you room and   
  
study.' Every time I received a grade lower than B I was restricted to the house for two   
  
weeks…By the time I was fourteen I realized that I could never please my Dad and I   
  
gave up trying…I use to tune out all his lectures and started to rebel more to get him   
  
angry.   
  
  
  
I always thought to become a Captain you had to give away your humanity…you   
  
couldn't show any emotion. My Dad even though I knew he loved my mom, my sisters   
  
and me, often seemed to be able to hide all his emotions behind a mask and I didn't want   
  
to be like him…I guess I'm more like him than I would ever admit…After, Caldik Prime   
  
and my time in Auckland I hid behind my own mask…It took people like Harry and   
  
B'Elanna to show me that I was a good person and I didn't have to hide my feelings all   
  
the time.  
  
  
  
Captain Janeway showed me that you can become a Captain and I still care about   
  
people. Maybe I'll never be the next Paris to make Admiral but maybe when Voyager   
  
gets home it wouldn't be so bad to make commander…It would be kind of fun to order   
  
B'elanna around like she did to me when I was Ensign. I better get some sleep…I have   
  
the bridge for the early shift tomorrow. End log. 


End file.
